Is over.
Initially I set out to post about my thoughts, adventures, outfits, inner struggles etc. But what I've ended up putting on here is barely the tip of the iceberg. Theres so much going on. To much to write about on a constant basis it seems. And I've been skippin out on all the good stuff! Well not anymore. Now that I've got a brand spanking new phone, power adapter for my laptop and inspiration I'm back and ready to rumble...! Maybe no one is there listening maybe one person is. Whatever the case may be I just want to write about real life...in my perspective. Its very cathartic you know.
Musica
Recently I've noticed that my friend has been making a number of playlists.
This one has been delighting my ears as of late.
Other than that Rameses B and Odezsa has been providing my sound receptors with rays of sunshine. I even went to a random free show to see Odesza live! I got my groove on, hung out with my friends, made some new ones...It was SO GREAT!
Recent Inspiration
Last night I was tumblrin as usual and I visited this girls blog who I've been following for a while. And boy oh boy does she have a very established and badass sense of style as well as a loud and fearless presense. Her name is
Arabelle. Man I would love to be her friend in real life!
[Seriously why cant there be more pictures like this in my math book?]
Secondly is this chicka who've I've always admired from afar. Her style is absolutely impecable and I love how she posts about her adventures and friends. Apparently she's deleted her tumblr but praise the Lord she is still on blogger! I've never met you
Ciara but I sure do think youre awesome and b-e-a-utiful!
The Carrie Diaries season 2 has been not only a fashion inspiration but a series of life lessons also. Which is to be expected I mean it is the prequel for Sex and the City. But deng she has some sweet outfits and accessories!
Just a thought that one of the recent episodes brought to my attention: Sometimes you need to let go of your old loves to make room for a new one.
Right?
Last but certainly not least is the phenomenal artist
Mark Posey aka my beau. He is my biggest inspiration low-key. Being with him is a dream. He's taught me all kinds of things, given me new experiences, shown me parts of his world. I am not only inspired by his next level artwork, but especially by his DIY attitude and his haggard but classy clothing attire and so much more...its embarassing how much I admire about this man.
One time I couldnt sleep and he said, think about your hopes and dreams and how you're going to accomplish them. And that got me thinking...what are my hopes and dreams? I wish I had multiples lives so I can live out all of them. Version 1 of Madeline would dive into something fashion related, open my own store, make my own clothes. Version 2 would become a graphic designer and/or book illustrator. Version 3 would become a psychologist either the nutritional or children's kind. Version 4 would become a glitterpunk musical artist. Version 5 would become a grade school teacher. I have too many hopes and dreams. To my dismay I can only choose one thing to pursue.
My 1st Flea Market Venture
Now I've been to a swap meet before as a kid...but this was an entirely different experience. Gah I shouldve taken more pictures! There were an unbelievable amount of clothes upon clothes upon clothes! Nevermind all the furniture and nicknacks. Walking around I felt extremely overwhelmed and anxious. It would take days to look through everything! Sadly all we had were a few hours. The thought that I'd never be able to sift through all the jackets, sweaters, dresses, shirts etc slightly depressed me. But Mark encouraged me to just start somewhere. Which-believe me-was not that easy. As we strolled about this girl stopped us and said she was taking pictures of finely dressed people. I felt pretty honored and delighted so of course we let her snap a photo of us.
After about two and a half hours of walking and searching through all kinds of clothing we called it a day. I ended up getting about 5 dresses all different and unique, some cute lil levi shorts, granny boots, a slinky gold belt and a bomber jacket for Marks bff. I cant wait to show everyone how cute they are!
So for the past week or two I've been dating this majesticly beautiful guy. Its the first time in a long time I've felt something so scary but wonderful towards someone. And I've never been treated this good in my life from any guy I've ever met. How sad but true. We have the most magnificent adventures and everytime we hang out I fall for him a little bit more. I know its a little cheesy but I'm genuinely worried that I'm gona fall for him but he's not going to catch me. Last night we sort of had a little spat. I was pretty turnt, but when we're drunk we just say shit that we're too afraid to say sober right? Its hard to remember exactly what I said but basically lately I've been bringing up the subject of being together like officially. And last night I surprised him by showing up at the art walk and everything was great up until I brought up that subject. He said he just wanted to have fun and why does that have to matter? I kept pushing it and in turn pushed him away and he told me to go back to my friends and he was leaving. So he left, I went to meet my friends and drunk called/texted him asking if he'd come back like some pathetic little puppy. And after he said to give him space I danced with strangers, got em to buy me drinks and tried everything to forget about the saddness that erupted out of me. I really fucked up. The next day, I woke up and apologized for acting mega weird and we resolved the whole issue of what relationship status we are. After being single for 6 years I guess I can understand why he's afraid of commitment especially to a girl he hasnt known for more than 2 weeks. Its wrong of me to expect this to start out like my last relationship. In that case I met this person, we both were instantly attracted to one another, we vibed really hard, fell really fast, got together in a week, lived together in a month etc etc. I need to get it through my head that nothing is ever going to happen the same way it did before. And its not a bad thing. So for now I'm just going to enjoy it, not stress about the labels, and let the chips fall where they may. I ended up telling him, whatever this is I'll let it be, enjoy every minute of it and bask in the ambiance of you. 
