Dude...

I've seriously been going through a ridiculous amount of shit lately. 

The Family Life

Well my dad hijacked my car while I was at work and said I couldnt get it back unless I moved in with him. Apparently my mother and father and grandparents and uncle and aunt all made a group decision to take my car from under my nose. I was so pissed off I went on a three day hiatus. And my mother came over once I returned and asked me, "whats new...whats up?" as if she wasnt fully aware of the things that were going on. Well whats fucking up is my family thinks I'm a drug addict and my dad took my car and I'm nearly being kicked out of my grandma's house by my parents even though they dont live there. After a few conversations with my Abuela we concluded the entire shabam with this: I will make some positive changes such as 1) no more gettin cloudy 2) I am consenting to being drug tested 3) No more disappearing without a word etc. She told me herself that she isnt going to force me to move out so I am going to kindly decline my dads offer. And that is the end of that. 

Le Love Life

So for the past week or two I've been dating this majesticly beautiful guy. Its the first time in a long time I've felt something so scary but wonderful towards someone. And I've never been treated this good in my life from any guy I've ever met. How sad but true. We have the most magnificent adventures and everytime we hang out I fall for him a little bit more. I know its a little cheesy but I'm genuinely worried that I'm gona fall for him but he's not going to catch me. Last night we sort of had a little spat. I was pretty turnt, but when we're drunk we just say shit that we're too afraid to say sober right? Its hard to remember exactly what I said but basically lately I've been bringing up the subject of being together like officially. And last night I surprised him by showing up at the art walk and everything was great up until I brought up that subject. He said he just wanted to have fun and why does that have to matter? I kept pushing it and in turn pushed him away and he told me to go back to my friends and he was leaving. So he left, I went to meet my friends and drunk called/texted him asking if he'd come back like some pathetic little puppy. And after he said to give him space I danced with strangers, got em to buy me drinks and tried everything to forget about the saddness that erupted out of me. I really fucked up. The next day, I woke up and apologized for acting mega weird and we resolved the whole issue of what relationship status we are. After being single for 6 years I guess I can understand why he's afraid of commitment especially to a girl he hasnt known for more than 2 weeks. Its wrong of me to expect this to start out like my last relationship. In that case I met this person, we both were instantly attracted to one another, we vibed really hard, fell really fast, got together in a week, lived together in a month etc etc. I need to get it through my head that nothing is ever going to happen the same way it did before.  And its not a bad thing. So for now I'm just going to enjoy it, not stress about the labels, and let the chips fall where they may. I ended up telling him, whatever this is I'll let it be, enjoy every minute of it and bask in the ambiance of you.