After a long day of snail adventures and real talks with Dusty and Tarin...I realized that I'm heading towards the dark side...and using weed and cigarettes to make myself "feel good"...and that's not right. I say I want to stop but I keep forkin over 5 bucks and almost a carton every two days...deng! I think that I'm about making things happen about other stuff...yet I'm not actually making an effort to stop smoking stogies...grrr!!! Why do I ignore that?! Idk. Maybe I'm afraid that life won't be as enjoyable without my coffee & cigarette or smoking & cool conversation s or being stoney baloney for a movie, wake & bake, hotbox sessions, etc etc. Am I making sense? For some reason I'm fooled into this mindset that life isn't as good sober as it is with smoking or whatever. What's worse is I kind of knew I was being fooled the whole time but got addicted to it anyway. I honestly didn't think I was addicted to weed until today when Tarin gave it to me straight. She helped me get a better perspective. She's quitting smoking. It all seems like destiny...everything tonight up to the last song on the radio right before I got home just felt so real. So des. Like I finally feel like I'm supposed to be here rather than wishing in the back of my mind that I were living in the past or something. Its time to turn over a new leaf. God help me to be serious about not smoking anymore.
Buenas noches cacaroaches *,*
No comments:
Post a Comment